Sharlana Chenelle

Here Are 5 Important Topics to Discuss while Dating

Discussing deeper topics while dating exclusively is a critical step in understanding whether or not a person is right for you and vice versa.

Why Is It Important to Discuss Deeper Topics While Exclusively Dating?

Aside from a genuine disinterest in reading or a learning disability, the number one reason most people, especially children struggle with reading is because they did not START with phonics which is a solid foundation for learning how to read fluently. Most people learn to read by first learning all 27 letters in the alphabet by name, and then sight words and so on, this method is usually referred to as “Sight Reading”. The problem with sight reading is that children often learn to memorize words instead of learning how to properly de-code words. This creates problems down the line when children start to read more advanced literature and come across a word they do not already know or haven’t memorized. Beginning with phonics right from the start is arguably one of the BEST ways to encourage strong readers.

So, How will I know When It's Time to Have These Discussions?

The definition of phonics is a method of teaching people to read by correlating sound with letters or groups of letters in an alphabetic writing system, according to the Oxford dictionary. Phonics teaches children the sounds that different letter combinations make so that they can SOUND out words they do not know.

Here Are 5 Important Topics to Discuss while Dating

1) Future goals and aspirations

 It is important to discuss your long-term plans and goals to ensure compatibility and shared values. This includes discussing career aspirations, family plans such as the desire to have children or not and how they should be raised (such as schooling and discipline), and personal ambitions.

2) Communication and expectations

Open and honest communication is crucial in any relationship. Discuss your communication styles, how you handle conflicts.  It is also VERY important to have conversations about “deal breakers” ( such as smoking, drinking, and violence) and traditional roles. This includes discussing expectations regarding gender roles (even in homosexual relationships) household responsibilities, and career aspirations and the beliefs of a stay- at home parent and or spouse. This helps ensure both partners are on the same page and are comfortable with their roles within the relationship.
 

3) Values and beliefs

Discussing your core values and beliefs is essential to understand each other’s perspectives and ensure compatibility. This includes topics such as religion, politics, and moral values. 

4) Family & relationship history and baggage

Talking about family history and status helps you understand each other’s background, upbringing, and any potential family dynamics that may influence your relationship. It is also important to have conversations about past relationships and any emotional baggage that may affect your current relationship, especially if children are involved and blended family expectations . This allows for understanding, empathy, and the opportunity to address any concerns or insecurities.

5) Intimacy and boundaries

Discussing physical intimacy, personal boundaries, and expectations is crucial to ensure both partners are comfortable and on the same page. This includes discussing preferences such as when sexual intimacy should be introduced, consent, and any concerns or boundaries that need to be respected such as keeping the relationship exclusive or whether or not you wish to practice non-monogamous relationships.

A couple of notes to consider...

  • Try to approach each topic with an open mind and remember that this never means that you have to compromise your own beliefs. You may be surprised on how your original ideas may shift or even strengthen after a conversation.
  • It’s okay if you have deal breakers on things such as dating a person with or without children, dating a smoker or non-smoker, or traditional verses non-traditional roles, just make sure if your values differ slightly you will be able to accept and live with the differences without expecting the other person to change down the line.
  • Make sure your beliefs are your owns and not society’s
  • Understand everyone may have a different idea of what success or traditional roles look like

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